To: All Video Game Players

We the undersigned, call upon all video game players to stop liking Mario because of his evil, heinous actions that have been recreated in various video games. It is our collective opinion that Mario has grossly and knowingly distorted the conduct of various gorillas, Koopas, Goombas, Crabs, sentient balls of flame and bottomless pits. Further, we believe that he has lied about his employment record as a carpenter, a plumber, and a demolition expert. Cruelty to gorillas, destruction of construction equipement and sites, employing animated steel bear traps to eat baby gorillas and practicing medicine without a license are just some of his foul crimes. He is not the classic everyman of the people that he claims to be and this needs to be acknowledged. We ask you to stop loving him so much and aiding him in his rampages. Perhaps you may consider becoming fans of his many, many enemies. Not that we're secrety them or secretly funded by Wario or anything but, you know, c'mon. Mario is mean and stuff. Please sign this petition as a nearly effortless show of solidarity with non-Mario-kind. I'm sure this petition will incite the neccessary change that will cause Mario and his friends to be locked up forever and allow the positive consequences of his inability to defend the Mushroom Kingdom and the regular world.

Sincerely,

The Undersigned.

(Petition disabled)

Donkey Kong, Mario, Wario, Pit, Kid Icarus and all related characers and concepts © Nintendo. No claim of ownership is made here. This is just an unfunny parody page.